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Couple Psychotherapy

Couple sessions follow the Imago Relationship Therapy model though I draw from AEDP, Chapman's work on "Love Languages," Jaiya's "Erotic Blueprints", John Gottman’s work, and a variety of other models and frameworks. Through structured dialogues, couples learn to self-soothe in the midst of reactivity, an essential part of creating relational safety and lowering defenses. I assist each of you in learning to listen deeply and speak authentically in a way your partner can hear and understand. Gradually, enough space is created for both of you to see more of the others’ true self and learn to effectively adapt to the unique and changing needs of your partnership. Not only do you develop the skills needed to stay connected and repair, you learn to utilize boundaries where appropriate to cultivate a healthy sense of separateness.

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Exploring Desire Issues & Sexuality

Desire is one the most powerful motivators in all of our lives. Being able to contact, cultivate, nuture, explore and express desires is inextricably linked to developing a sense of purpose, fulfillment and personal well-being. Connecting to your lown sense of yourself as a vibrant, sensual, sexual and erotic being in your own primary love relationship in a way that fosters your life force can help your connection to your partner shift and evolve. I work with you and your partner in the context of your partnership to help you foster one of the most important relationships you will have in your life: your relationship to your own desire.

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Developing Assertiveness Skills

Through identifying feelings and triggers and exploring family of origin dynamics that influenced how you learned to express yourself and get your needs met, you will improve how you communicate to safeguard rather than sabotage your well-being, increasing your chances of being heard by others. You will also learn the importance of listening to your own intuition when it comes to setting boundaries with those who challenge you.

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Prioritizing Self-Care

Self-Care within a marriage or partnership can feel tricky, particularly if partners have developed unacknowledged habits or expectations related to roles, tasks, needs, and how and when needs are met. These needs can range from emotional needs for greater closeness to sexual and financial needs. I help you examine the unspoken expectations and unacknowledged needs in your partnership. By taking greater responsibility for your own self-care in multiple areas in your partnership, beginning with recognizing and acknowledging what your needs really are, I help you develop a healthier sense of interdependence and more realistic expectations of your partner. Self-care empowers you both to give more authentically and freely and to be more vulnerable about your actual needs.

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Managing Anxiety & Stress

Our brains are wired to be on the lookout for danger, which has given us a survival advantage as a species. In today’s complex, modern world, however, this “negative bias” often works against us. Our internal alarm systems go off too often and we live our lives fearfully, sacrificing aliveness to an illusion of control. Emotional awareness, cognitive behavioral therapy, guided visualizations, and mindfulness techniques can help you turn the “alarm” off, relax, and reconnect with your own joyful aliveness and energy.

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Honoring Grief & Loss

Grief related to losses in our lives can be one of the hardest experiences to permit into our awareness, much less to fully acknowledge and feel. But our unfelt grief doesn't go away; it finds other, less direct forms of expression in our bodies, behaviors, and thoughts. Rejected or suppressed grief can contribute to anxiety, depression and physical illness. It's important to pro-actively support ourselves in feeling emotions related to the difficult losses in our lives, however small or large, as a way of accepting where we are and opening to the resources available to us in the present. By identifying and processing grief and experiencing previously avoided feelings safely in a contained and supportive environment, I help you “move on” while at the same time honoring losses. In this way, you can feel more gratitude and connection, and open to new opportunities in your partnership.

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