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Relational Growth Challenges are opportunities to influence your relationship for the better, with or without your partner's participation. Each exercise can help you deepen awareness and increase the positive impact you have on your connection.
Take up the challenge!

The Alchemy of Discord

A fight with our partners can unleash painful emotions: vulnerability, helplessness, anger, frustration, shame, self hatred, unworthiness. Despite the work we've done and the precautions taken, we couldn't sidestep a rupture. Our challenge is to stop and turn towards ourselves during conflicts. Can we see the value in our uncomfortable feelings? Can we accept that suffering doesn't . . .


Relational Growth Challenge: PAUSE

Marriages are more like roller-coaster rides than hover boards, more like cross-country triathalons than quarter-mile sprints. Very few relationships have been so perfectly designed to wake us up, shake us down, and grow us up. Marriages, when they're long-term and committed - when you and your partner have both feet fully planted in the process - will very likely challenge your comfortable vi . . .


Relational Growth Challenge: Unconditional Love

Conditions abound. Some are explicit, others are implied. We read the fine print on labels, hire a lawyer to double-check contracts, agree to certain privileges in exchange for goods and services. You be the rock, I'll lend you my wings. You take out the trash, I'll wash the dishes. You provide, I'll nurture. There's nothing wrong with this. Conditions are a part of being in relati . . .


Relational Growth Challenge: What do you want?

What do you want? This seems like a simple enough question. Do you want to go on a European vacation or stay local? Do you want a few inches of space between you and her when you're talking or do you want her closer, holding your hand? Do you want to stay home tonight or go see a movie? In fact, really knowing what we want can be a conundrum. Almost every facet of our development as social cre . . .


Return to Love

Our human brains are wired to focus on danger, threat, and things that are wrong. Much of our mental operating system is still running on ancient software: responding to a flicker of disapproval on our partner's face as if it were a python in the brush. We get locked in power struggles, snap at one another with criticisms or make repeated defensive comments. We harbor resentment long after dis . . .