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Relational Growth Challenges are opportunities to influence your relationship for the better, with or without your partner's participation. Each exercise can help you deepen awareness and increase the positive impact you have on your connection.
Take up the challenge!

Embrace the Limits

Despite the challenges of relationships, the high divorce rate, the celebrities we see marrying in one edition of a magazine and separating in the next, we are pulled toward committed partnership, most commonly with a single, primary beloved. We seek to deeply know another and to be deeply known within a framework flexible enough to allow for change and reliable enough to create continuity. This c . . .


Return to Love

Our human brains are wired to focus on danger, threat, and things that are wrong. Much of our mental operating system is still running on ancient software: responding to a flicker of disapproval on our partner's face as if it were a python in the brush. We get locked in power struggles, snap at one another with criticisms or make repeated defensive comments. We harbor resentment long after dis . . .


Relational Growth Challenge: Hug

Hugs are healing. In one fell swoop, they equalize power struggles, level the playing field and awaken our softness and vulnerability within the container of trusted arms. Hugging is an action between two people where the arrows of giving and receiving go both ways, instantaneously changing our brain chemistry, soothing us, and shifting our mindset from one of scarcity and isolation to one of grat . . .


A Different Response

A Different Response Take a moment to think about one specific thing you wanted and didn't get from your partner today. Was it a hug? Extended eye-contact with no digital devices magnetizing your partner's attention? The words, "Thank you for doing that"? How did you react when you didn't get what you wanted? Did you dismiss your own desire? Grow irritable without realizin . . .


Begin a Partner Appreciation Journal

Begin a Partner Appreciation Journal Buy a small notebook to keep in a bedside drawer, your purse or briefcase. Every day, write down 1 specific thing you appreciate about your partner. Continue this journal daily for a week. For the 'Advanced Challenge,' find a quiet time when your partner is relaxed and receptive and tell them: "I was just thinking about how much I appreciate you . . .