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Relational Growth Challenges are opportunities to influence your relationship for the better, with or without your partner's participation. Each exercise can help you deepen awareness and increase the positive impact you have on your connection.
Take up the challenge!

The Inner Concierge

For better or worse, our minds judge as a way of making sense of the world and of our own and others' place within it. This tendency to look at situations and people as good/bad, right/wrong, selfish/selfless can be quite evident in our closest relationships. When partnerships are dominated by this tendency to judge another person or their actions, precious time and energy get squandered feedi . . .


What Do You Expect?

Expectations within a marriage can be tricky, particularly as life's busyness encroaches on the time set aside for sharing and reflection. Unacknowledged expectations solidify into rigid identities and beliefs. Stopping to consider the expectations that have developed in a marriage related to roles, tasks and needs helps keep the connection honest and emotionally fertile, as well as inviting e . . .


Listening

It's so much more than a moment of grace or a recurring impulse or something that happens on its own when we gaze at our partner in silence as they speak. Listening requires will and intention. Though it can be easy to minimize it’s value and take it for granted, it serves us well to acknowledge its importance and take time to re-calibrate the emphasis we give it in our conversations. Li . . .


The Alchemy of Discord

A fight with our partners can unleash painful emotions: vulnerability, helplessness, anger, frustration, shame, self hatred, unworthiness. Despite the work we've done and the precautions taken, we couldn't sidestep a rupture. Our challenge is to stop and turn towards ourselves during conflicts. Can we see the value in our uncomfortable feelings? Can we accept that suffering doesn't . . .


Relational Growth Challenge: PAUSE

Marriages are more like roller-coaster rides than hover boards, more like cross-country triathalons than quarter-mile sprints. Very few relationships have been so perfectly designed to wake us up, shake us down, and grow us up. Marriages, when they're long-term and committed - when you and your partner have both feet fully planted in the process - will very likely challenge your comfortable vi . . .