Sometimes, it takes the pain of profound disconnection to sound the alarm in a relationship. It can be the wake-up call that tips the balance from tolerating unhappiness to making important changes in how you approach life and relate to yourself and your partner. Couples can turn their parallel living and chronic ruptures into wholehearted connection when they’re willing to get curious, seek and accept guidance, SLOW down, take responsibility, and approach important relational moments in a new way.
My name is Alicia Muñoz and I’m a writer, counselor and couples therapist. I have extensive training in Imago Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy, and Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy.
Over the course of the last two decades, I’ve worked in private clinics, New York City’s Bellevue Hospital and private practice. But my biggest lessons didn’t happen at work or in trainings. They happened in relationships. Like the couples I work with, I’ve struggled to find happiness, fulfillment and peace in a committed romantic relationship. Following a painful divorce in my late twenties, I didn’t have much faith in healthy partnerships—or in my own ability to be in one myself. Two decades later, I know differently.
I hope you’ll use the resources you find on these pages to understand yourself better, connect to your body’s innate wisdom, SLOW down, and bring a sense of curiosity and mindfulness to the unresolved conflicts you experience with your partner as you practice new self-soothing and communication skills.
One of the most common and destructive issues in romantic relationships is rumination. Drawn from CBT, RFCBT, short-term psychodynamic and mindfulness therapies, Stop Overthinking Your Relationship offers a practical four-step approach to reduce rumination and change your negative thinking patterns so you can find joy, ease and connection with your partner.
Erotic vitality means feeling fully alive. You do this first and foremost for yourself. Feeling vibrant and empowered to live and speak your truth in different domains helps counterbalance the forces in the world around you that may undermine your sense of agency. Erotic vitality emerges when you can relax, speak up, set boundaries, pursue joy and pleasure, cultivate fulfilling relationships, experience agency, and have energy.
Our tendency to judge ourselves, others, life events, and our partner can block our ability to see the world around us clearly.
Two of the most important, guiding principles in romantic relationships can be summarized as: Couples who play together, stay together …
